Category Archives: Since You Asked

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Last year I wrote about my discovery of Rodan & Field (RF) They offer a line of facial products, traditionally marketed for women, but with a growing male fan base. I use several of the products on a daily (sometimes twice daily) routine and have been overwhelmingly happy with the results.

Being someone who generally isn’t a big fan of lots of steps, I found the simple three-step RF method worked perfectly for me. More importantly, the lines don’t interfere with my facial hair and have minimal fragrance.

I recently reposted those preferred steps and products on my MentorSF Engage Blog. If you want to know more about which of the products or order them for yourselves, feel free to check out the link here. 

When checking out the Rodan & Field Products, you can click through on the “I don’t have an account” which will bring you right to the full store without you having to add any details.

4 Reasons Your Diet Never Works

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You may often hear your friends say they’re going to stick to their diet this time, but the reality is that people often fall off the wagon fairly early into their weight loss journeys. It’s not uncommon for people who have just started a diet to feel hungry between meals or feel like they’re not reaching their goals as soon as they had expected.

This often leads to people feeling like they want to give up or at least have a few more cheat meals than they should. If you know why people often don’t stick to diets, though, then you can find ways of circumventing the problems. Here are reasons why people don’t always stick to diets and the four ways to make your healthy lifestyle changes stick.

You Don’t Have the Right Supplements to Round Out Your Diet

Oftentimes, while diets mean cutting things out of your regular eating schedule, it results in people using products and foods that aren’t up to par with what they’re dietary needs have to be. According to Xyngular, you need products and meal plans that are realistic. When you’re not getting the right nutrients, working out and even simple daily activities can be more difficult. Your body needs nutrients to build muscle, get you through a workout, and combat stress.

When you don’t get enough nutrients, you’ll likely find yourself feeling lethargic or stressed out, which can lead you to eat unhealthy food in an attempt to make yourself feel better. However, you need to remember that healing and nutrition needs to happen on the cellular level if you want to feel your best. Recovering from toxin buildup can take time and effort. As ASEA points out, “As we age and as our bodies are exposed to toxins and environmental stress, cellular function diminishes, and with it, our health and quality of life. This decline also affects the body’s ability to produce and maintain a proper balance of redox signaling molecules.” If you want to feel in tip-top shape for the next time you hit the gym, make sure you’re feeding your body with the supplements you might not get enough of. 

You Don’t Have Realistic Meal Plans

There are a couple of mistakes that people often make during meal planning when they go on a diet. One of the biggest mistakes is that they don’t make any sort of meal plan at all. Winging it can leave you vulnerable to making impulse decisions when you’re hungry at work or running errands. Another common mistake is not having enough in your meal plan to keep you full and satisfied. This can also lead to poor or emotional eating decisions. MommyPotamus suggests that you stick to a schedule that works for you, and have a shopping list always on hand with foods that are approved by you.

You Don’t Exercise

Exercise is part of a healthy diet. When you hit a plateau, a healthy exercise plan can help get you over it. Exercise also releases endorphins that make you feel good, making you less likely to look to the piece of chocolate cake for comfort when life gets stressful. You need to start committing to a routine, even if it starts small. According to Mayo Clinic, you should begin by assessing your fitness level and start from there on out. Try running a mile or two every weekend, consistently, and see how you can improve the plan when you reach a level of ease running a mile.

You Don’t Have Support

Having people around you who are supportive of your decision to make healthy changes to your lifestyle is key in actually making it work. Surround yourself with people who care about your health and provide encouragement (or even better, healthy recipes!).

Many people fall off the dieting wagon, but a lot of people succeed in making lifestyle changes. If you work at it and have a plan, you can be one of those success stories.

4 Ways to Travel that Make it Easy to Control Your Diet

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While traveling abroad can be a rare and wonderful time, that freedom tends to play havoc with your waistline upon returning home. This article seeks to advise potential travelers on minimizing weight gain and how to stick to their diet while traveling abroad.

Consider Where You Stay

While you may want to stay at a bed and breakfast or a hotel, most of those venues leave you with relatively little to work with when it comes to cooking. Having a few options for food leads to eating unhealthily. Traveling can be tricky for healthy eaters. However, if you are staying in accommodations that offer kitchens, like houses, condos, or even beach houses, you can have more control over your diet by buying groceries and preparing some of your own meals. Even the most basic of inns should have some sort of miniature fridge for you to store your food.

Consider Dining Out at Higher-End Locales

Everyone with dietary or digestive issues knows the dread of hoping their waitress will treat the mention of a dietary issue seriously. The good news is that most high-end restaurants are more than likely than others to alter your meal to suit your needs.

Scout Out the Menus of Local Eateries

Research the local eateries and how far those locations are from where you will be staying. Depending on your stay’s length, you may wish to have a minimum of three to four options to choose from. If all the locations you have picked serve non-regional food of the same type, your taste buds may get burnt out on this new adventure.

Familiarize Yourself with Nutritional Vocabulary

While this advice is mostly of use to people traveling to other countries, it may also prove useful when dining at high-end restaurants that serve ethnic cuisines. In short, you want to know what words like “creamy,” “breaded” and “buttery” look like in the relevant language. These words are a good shorthand for foods that will be loaded with calories. Additionally, you may want to look up specific dishes just to know if you should even bother trying them because you have heard the name before.

The first step in planning a trip is research, so remember to consider your dietary needs in that research. Look for eateries that offer you tools to prepare something more than ramen noodles and coffee. Research local venues and consider frequenting the high priced ones more often. Learn red flag vocabulary for your dietary needs. With the proper research done, you can move on to packing and then set out on your trip.

 

Big, Hairy & Gay; My take on life as a Gay Bear

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It’s Out!! Kinda like me!

Just when my life could not get any more interesting with today being my birthday; I figured it was time to share this on BiteTheRoad. So what’s a day in my world like? Well you get asked to do an actual licensed TEDx Talk on being me; big, hairy & gay. 

Yes Really! 

As most of you who read this know, I was one of the lucky 10 people invited to participate in TEDxProvincetown as it held it’s first TEDx Talk series this summer and the full set of speaker links have finally gone live.

And Here It is!

So Why Did I Do It?

26 years ago, I left my life, commuting between Boston and Provincetown for an opportunity to work in San Francisco. I was asked to take part working in progressive sexual adult content mediums addressing often ignored, overlooked, marginalized and underserved communities.
Men like me didn’t fit the gay male archetype; who often struggled to find to a sense of identity with so few role-models to draw from.  So what happens? 26 years later I find myself talking about those very same issues to a wider audience! This partners perfectly with the push in my efforts with MentorSFCA.com to support people in makeing the “best fit” choices for themselves and creating what they need when they don’t see it offered.
It is an honor to share my experience as a gay man on body shaming, invisibility, resilience, and lessons learned from a “bigger” perspective with an incredible group of people.

But I Need Your Help

I am proud to have been able to address body shaming, invisibility and love beyond limits as part of the TEDxProvincetown program to audiences that extended beyond just gay men, including people of all types, ages, genders and orientations.

I want to spread the word spread. I am asking for your help in getting this talk out. Helping me share the message to all audiences. This talk is one of the first licensed TEDx talks that actually addresses body shaming, sex, inclusion, and visibility from a bigger-bodied gay man’s experience. Because of this, it has the potential opportunity to reinforce that desire and love can blossom no matter the body type.  The more views the talk gets, the higher it ranks and the better the chances that it gets picked up for wider distribution. I’m asking that you include the link below in any announcement lists, email, newsletters or websites in an attempt to get the widest scope.

How Can You Help?
Simple. Share the video link to your friends. Share it on Facebook, Twitter,e tc. Anywhere you think people will see it. Don’t hold back to only LGBTQ audiences. This is a message for everyone.

Sharing is as easy as 1-2-3:

1. Copy and paste the link below
2. Add some your own thought or comment that you think your followers and friends would get intrigued by and want to watch it.
3. Add a few of the “hashtags” (Those words followeed by a #) to help it show up in searches.
** Don’t forget youtube also allows you to use embedded code as I did above if you prefer to have the video sit and play on your websites too.
The link to my talk on the TEDxProvincetown Youtube channel is as follows: https://youtu.be/8J-gaUgztjs
Feel free to tag me in any social media you choose to share using any of these hashtags:
#TEDxPtown
#BearTalk
#WhoDoYouSeeNow
#MentorSFCA

My social media accounts include:

Twitter: @FVStrona,
Instagram: @FVStrona

Then What?

Whatch the rest. All 10 of the talks were outstanding and different so you may enjoy checking out one of the other co-presenters by checking out the full speakers playlist for all 10 talks here

Curious about TEDxProvincetown?

You can find out more on its website www.tedxprovincetown.com or read more about the other speakers https://tedxprovincetown.com/tedx-provincetown-talks-performances/.
The hashtags & social media accounts for TEDxProvincetown include:
#TEDxPtown, #TEDxProvincetown
Facebook: [@TEDxProvincetown] 
Twitter:  [@TEDxPtown Profile, hashtag: #TEDxProvincetown]
Instagram: [TEDxProvincetown– profile, hashtag #TEDxPtown]

The Value of Holiday Cheer; Gestures, Thank You’s & Acknowledgments

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This is a good time to consider the art of thank-you’s and gestures.

Like it or not, Thanksgiving has passed and we are officially on the close-out of 2017.

Every year about this time I start messages from folks, asking me about our annual Orphans Holiday Party held each year around late December and how will I be managing to pull it off this  year or how do I have all that stuff to prepare for it.

As the summer wraps up, the fall is normally one of my favorite times of the year and the Orphans Holiday Party is one of the highlights of the year to share time with friends.

This year, I seemed to get several inquiries asking me about my thoughts on the customs, gestures, and traditions that go along with being a guest. You know, those commonly held, or historically offered niceties that civil society says is “what polite society” dictates as a way to thank a host.

I started this post as I sat on a flight from DC just before Thanksgiving but got sidetracked catching up till now. So I figured  I would try to jot out some thoughts as I check my “to be answered” folder of questions.

What is the scoop on “Invitation Protocols”?

Frank,   It’s that time of the year when I have started to get invitations to dinners, brunches etc. What do I bring ? Do I need to bring something?  Is there a universal set of gestures I should know?— TK

This is a great question and while I wouldn’t say I am the “arbiter of good taste and manners” all the time –  I have some opinions on what I believe to be common courtesy and reflect a gesture of appreciation for your host. (For the sake of ease when I write “host(s) it is implied as “host or hostess”).

Mostly it’s about three things:

Appreciating the gestures of being invited

Acknowledging the effort and work that goes into that brunch or party

Common Sense understanding that tokens & gestures do matter to some, but doing something needs to not derail the host/hostess’s game plan.

Appreciation

This is key – when you are invited to something – your host(s) has taken the forward thought to plan, design and arrange what they hope will be a memorable time. During the days that lead up even to the smallest luncheon or brunch to the largest open house – tension rises and many last minute “fixes” are in full implantation mode.

Ensuring that your host(s) know how much you appreciated the invite, the time you had, and any special moments that the event made for you. These could include photos, gestures, networking or even a memory made is a great way to appreciate the experience.

3 simple gestures to show your appreciation

Ask: If you know you are going to the store the day of the event. Maybe in the morning (or the day before). Call and ask if you can pick anything up that may have been forgotten. But be prepared to get those supplies back to the host early so that they have time to use them as needed. (Hint: even if you don’t need to go to the store, but you have the free time and willingness to help, the offer to do so is huge)

Offer to stay late to clean up; come the “witching hour” when the bulk of the guest have left, most of us that toss the party, push through on adrenalin alone. So come the end, the energy runs out. Nothing says “appreciation” better than “Frank, We are going to stay and help you clean up; what do you need to be done”

Check in after the event; If you aren’t able to attend or have conflicting events, let your host know as soon as possible. then a day after the event, drop the person a call, text or email asking how it went. That lets the host know you valued the invitation and was disappointed at not being able to attend. Who knows you might even get an invite for coffee or dinner to help use up those leftovers.

Acknowledgment

Look I can say how much I love to throw a party – and I do. But being acknowledged for the effort I put is, while it may not look like it’s important, it is.

Those of us that like to entertain and create these moments, feed off the excitement of the planning and staging something that will be memorable. We often take special care to blend in specialties to make everyone feel good. So hearing someone acknowledge the time and effort that goes into it, or noticing the small personal touches go a long way.

For instance, for me, I take pride in creating a menu that includes dishes and options that encompass vegan, gluten-free, dairy-free needs without them feeling like an aside. I use these as a way to “challenges” me to expand my food thinking and try new dishes that I might not generally eat myself.

In fact, some of the results can be stellar, like the gluten-free orange cardamom granola and spinach stuffing I created for a stuffed turkey one year. That recipe has now become a great alternative to my regular “old school” recipe.

One simple way to show your acknowledgment is to let the host know with a simple gesture says ” you noticed something that made them feel special”. One way to send a small token; this could be something fun, whimsical, or useful and in the theme that the host would enjoy. Feel free to ask for the recipe or the brand and where they found it. We generally love to tell you; once the event is out of the gate. For those of you “less creative types” here are a few ideas that I either send or have enjoyed receiving:

For those of you who know how “anal” I can be, will understand why this Magnetic Dry Erase Weekly Meal Planner 11X17 Whiteboard ($12.99) tickled me: 

Many of us make notes for the planning of the next event and your comments, feedback, and notes are ways we know what to keep or use again so journals such as this Refillable Travel Diary Notepad ($15.99)

Another way to acknowledge the effort is to share your own specialty ideas. If you have special food issues and knowledge of brands, recipes (or even well-loved book cook) and ideas for substitutions. Those I keep handy for the future. A great way to do this is making use of mail order or online services that stock your preferred “finds”. In some cases, you may even find them on Amazon.com.

Common Sense

Tokens and gestures to show your appreciation with a thank you are long-held traditions. They may changes from time to time, perhaps with an updated look or trend – but the basics remain the same.

If you are invited to a small dinner party, brunch or dinner:

Cut and arranged flowers, potted plants are perfect thank you gestures. But if you really want the host(s) to know you are excited or had a good time, have them delivered the morning of the event so that they have time to place them in a spot instead of having to figure out a frantic fix while trying the deal with the last minute preparations. (Hint: you really want the host to love you? Call  a few days before and say you want to send over an arrangement to the table or the fireplace and what colors is the room or theme). Or even better, have something delivered a few days after the event for the host(s) to enjoy a lovely personal note inside.

At the holidays (or any time of the year) if you know the host has a fondness for collecting something; I work hard to custom select something for them. In my case, I have a “story tree” at the holidays where most of the ornaments come from friends & family.  So I often get unique ornaments from places I might not have visited as a thank you or clever people found out I keep a “gift” list on Amazon of stuff that I want (and eventually plan to buy but should someone ask – it’s easier to send them to the list)

A few thoughts for those that haven’t got a clue yet:

Resoprocity is equally as important. 

Even the most gregarious and “party loving” host, doesn’t always want play host.  Offering to have the host over for a dinner to say thank you is perfect. It doesn’t have to be fancy, it’s the fact that you took the time to say thank you and take the night off is what matters. If you don’t cook, then offer to take them to dinner or at minimum, send them a gift certificate to a store with a fun personalized note “saying you are happy to taste any new dishes this inspires“.

Larger events like open houses, parties etc

These are less formal or because of the crowd less likely to need something to be given. But special bottles of wine or alcohol is always a nice touch – but remember to add a personal note – with your name and mention why this beverage is significant. Is it a special year or from a vineyard you love. Is it a hidden wonder etc. I know one of my “go to” gifts this year will be a vodka that has a dedication of funds toward dog adoption. Or try your hand at making something. The last few years I have made and jarred gifts to give to hosts; preserved lemons, pickled vegetables are two that get mentioned a lot. Remember to include the recipe tag and hold long they will keep with them.

What about Potlucks? Or invitations to meals or parties held at a restaurant?

Potlucks play a unique role. If you agree to bring a dish, let the host know early on what you are bringing and ask when do they want it. Nothing puts a host on edge more than during a potluck when someone arrives late with a dish and half the food has already been served. You can always drop your dish offer earlier if you think you will be late.

If you aren’t bringing a dish to a potluck – any of the other ways listed above will work – but letting the host(s) know you would like to offer to help out with clean up is always welcome.

Resturant or venue-based dinner parties: If you are invited to a dinner party held at a restaurant and the host has made it clear that you are guests (i.e. they are covering the costs of the meal) can be tricky. I rarely want to bring in a bottle of something or a gift as I know the hosts then have to figure out a way to get them all home.

So try to find out what the host’s plan is.  For a birthday or anniversary held at a beloved resturant or because of the host(s) lack space at home, then it’s likely they may either have a “no gifts” on the invite or will have a place identified to put cards, gifts, and gestures. Just remember to secure your card well so they don’t get separated. I can’t tell you how many times I have ended up with orphan gifts and gift tags after we get them home.

If it is a more casual setting or annual open house type thing, I would lean towards sending your acknowledgment after the event (use any mentioned above – I personally love waking up to breakfast or brunch baskets) and have it delivered to them at home.

When all is said and done  

Whatever you send or do, it should be significant to the host, serves as a way to show you care, and how you felt special about being included and appreciate the effort.

You can blend all or any of these ideas into one “thank you”. Gifting the host with that special dietary cookbook you love, with a note inside letting the host know much that it meant including their food sensitivities into the party menu and you are wanting to share this cookbook… etc. Those personal touches are the part I like best.

Over the years I have had several “thank you’s” that stand out as memorable to me:

One was to find a case of small batch, specialty tomato sauce delivered as a thank you from two guests who had been to a dinner party at my home. the brand was a favorite they thought I would enjoy being introduced too.

Another was taken right from the “Martha Steward school of entertaining” when the morning after a rather large party, my doorbell rang and I opened it to find a box with all my favorite breakfast foods; bagels, lox, cream cheese, hard boiled eggs, a loaf of poppyseed bread, jam, ground coffee ready to be made and savored.

Another was a gift certificate good for brunch at a restaurant we had spoken about but that I hadn’t gotten a chance to try yet. Included with a thank you card reminding me of our chat about how much they liked the food and they thought I would as well.

The common theme here is personalizing it, make it memorable and do it timely.

I have left the comments open on this post so that others can share ideas as well…

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Because life has reminders about how precious each day is..

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Major house fire  x 3 the only night on my return home from ATL.


The senior couple that live in the corner home, come to find out last night, while having an impromptu slumber party here at my house with them, actually grew up in the house. Her grabdfather built for her mother.  So the house actually had been her mothers home.  Talk about old CA stock. Here is ABC’s coverage: http://abc7news.com/news/firefighter-injured-in-4-alarm-fire-in-sfs-castro-district/1564148/

Kudos to all the response teams of which there were many on the scene till early this am.

And while I’m likely to be a little tired and crabby by the end of the day not having slept and having a hard time breathing with all of the smoke; spending the evening with her and her husband reminded me at least, that  we have a bed to sleep in and a home to come back to.

More images from last nights fire are posted here:

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10210490538277298.1073741887.1160144039&type=1&l=e8cab3b160

How do you manage to collect and have all that party stuff handy?

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One of the recent readers of BiteTheRoad asked me how I managed to always have the right “stuff” at each of the parties they have been at my places. Well it took me a minute to figure out what that meant – then it dawned on me. Similar to my post on “Getting a Party On” – its stuff I do that I don’t think about that they were asking.

So – to respond I have a few tips;

Post xmas table runners and nakins

Post xmas table runners and nakins

  • Think ahead. I am always shopping post holidays for things that I know I will need “next time”. Many folks can barely fathom thinking about a celebration or holiday in the days that follow it – but I find that when I get the deals which allow me to stock pile for future events. For instance –  these  “themed” runners such as the ones from I find tend to work nice all year round. The sueded tan  and the paisley runners were discounted to less than $15.00 each and the set of 4 napkins down to less than $7 at Pottery Barn this week.
  • Think creative. Just because that “caldron” punch bowl (Mine is from – you guessed it –  Pottery Barn) was the hot seller for Ocotober – doesn’t mean it won’t double at another holiday or even in the summer with fruit or flowers in it as a centerpiece or tucked up in front of the empty fireplace.

    Oct’s Caldron is Springs flower display

  • Think Space. If you don’t have a lot of it – then you need to figure out the once place you can store it all. In my case I have a garage and invested in the moisture proof plastic crates for storage
  • Shop Second Hand. Many of the table covers come from flea market and second hand thrift stores. Especially ones that I use for the tables with food on them as they tend to get the dirtiest and stain. If they have small stains – plan strategically to cover them with food  – but even thinner throw blankets or scrapes of fabric work well. Hint:  I am also always checking out the “curtain & drape” bins. Single panels make perfect quick table covers.

    SAMSUNG CSC

    This almost neutral runner washes well and holds up to heavy use

  • Be Consistent. If you use it, put it back. When I take something out of my “Party Go Pack” as soon as its clean – it goes back.
  • Think Duplicates. If you like something for everyday use – and you can get a deal on it – but two. Keep one for casual use and a set in the Party Go Pack box – this even goes for utensils and services trays.
  • Consider Plastic vs Metal. Disposable isn’t always the best. I find that for some things its easy and cheaper in the long run to go with the real stuff and not go with toss out stuff like silver wear, plates, etc.

oh.. and don’t lend it out – unless you are truly sure that if it doesn’t come back it won’t be missed!